When I get bored, I play videogames and plink around on my guitar. When this guy gets bored, he builds giant, walking mechaspiders. I for one welcome our new spider overlords.
We much in the way of big game around here, so I had no idea that tigers can swim. Yikes!
The next time I have one of those “frantically trying to get away from something” nightmares my money is on a swimming kungfu mechaspider.
That’s got nothing to do what kangaroos fighting on a golf course whatsoever, but it’s set to “Eye of the Tiger” which is really badass so I feel compelled to post it. It was my elementary school song, and every time I hear it I get all psyched up!!! What’s up with those guys powersliding the golf cart? Showoffs!
In honor of the demise of Ride the Fire Eagle Danger Day, I bring you the most threatening post I could possibly imagine within the last hour. Danger doesn’t wait for us to plan it, folks!
Pistol Shrimp are badass and they will stun you with bubbles as hot as the sun, then devour you mercilessly in the briney deep. If these little bastards team up with the dreaded Claw Shrimp we’re all done for.
Nothing’s really making me laugh today. This week seems particularly lite on amusing strangeness, which is what we usually try to cover around here. So here are some oddities to tide you over until I feel less serious.
Fear the might gravity wave! I’ve seen clouds do the weirdest contortions during drives over the flatter parts of the midwest. The first time I saw a dust-devil funnel touch down in front of my car I was amazed that everyone just drove right through it… I was ready to lie down in a ditch and find religion.
The Nice Guy Paradox. I can attest that following the “nice guy” approach with the ladies guarantees you lame-duck, also ran status. Tactically is the weakest of sauces. Now that we’ve all got PHDs in what doesn’t work, somebody give us a plan B that works short of becoming some kind of megalomaniac Marlboro Man.
Eye smiling vs. Mouth smiling. I KNEW there had to be a good reason behind the Korean/Japanese emoticons that I can’t figure out worth a damn. I can’t think that there might be more to it, though. For example, in Japan you read from right to left rather than from left to right… so an english speaking native might look at this Hokusai painting and focus on the wave first, whereas the Japanese would more likely spot mount Fuji first. The feel of the painting changes dramatically as a result.
Why does all the awesome internet fluff show up when I least have no time to gather it for you all?
First off, tvinjapan brings to our attention the amazing Japanese Onbashira festival. In a nutshell, giant crowds of men gather to ride giant logs down a mountain. Prepare to be amazed watching this, that, and the other one. Young men who dressed alike used to gather to “ride giant logs” in my old neighborhood, but I don’t think it was anything like this ;) Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
Thinking of forming a band and expecting to make it rich? Steve Albini recommends you think twice and it’s almost a sure thing that he knows what’s up better than you do. Is digitial distribution ever going to finish off this racket in a way that’s able to support the artists? Or does music simply need to die as a business?
Luckily, outside the mainstream there is still great music getting made. My latest obsession is “Atlas” by Battles. Fluxblog’s description doesn’t capture what makes this song great, but it does capture what makes it wonderfully weird: “Don’t laugh, but whenever I hear this song, I just imagine the Smurfs as a fascist society, or Snow White and the Seven Dwarves at a German BDSM dungeon. Actually, maybe it’s just a really intense day at the Keebler factory.” Sweet. I can’t want to catch the album next month and see them at pitchfork in July.
Anyone spending much time following the news these days is bound to feel a little depressed. Some of us end up overdosing on it from time to time (for example, I have relatives that like to share every negative story in a newspaper by reading them aloud to everyone present). Truly, Ze may be right in thinking that the time of the giant baby may be near.
Sometime, it just takes a little reminder that the whole world isn’t full of hard chargers… some little duckies out there are ready to lend a hand to to their fellow creatures on the other side of the water. When flying critters take to feeding swimming critters, it starts to make our multi-appendaged man-thing internal conflicts start to look a little selfish and petty.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t post one of the most amusing movie trailers of all time: Bats! Click the “view trailer” link on the left of the page and let the sparks fly: boom goes the dynamite! I think the funniest part of this is that somewhere, sometime, the band that wrote that song probably thought “my day to strike it big has come… move over Fred Durst there’s a nu-metal Sherriff in town!”
I usually try to tie links together, but for the life of me I can’t figure out a way to pull it off today. So without further ado…
The movie trailer for the movie “Black Sheep” is atrociously amazing. I dub this movie “Sheeps on a Plain.” WE GOT MF’N SHEEPS ON THIS MF’N PLAIN! Not since “Bats” have I seen an animal horror flick this ambitious.
Secondly, if you ever catch yourself saying that you’re not a nerd, and you have evidence outlined to prove it, you’ve probably already proven that you ARE a nerd. Embrace it. Like these folks and their “full action fighting” site Battle of the Gods. I am such a geek that I rarely get to pick on other sub-geeks, so thank god for LARP’rs!
Got any bright ideas on how I could have spun these together? You get bonus points if you can somehow tie in the previous Happy Tree Friends post.
*Ninja Edit* Busman here to say that this epic post is Falconsox’ 100th post! Too celebrate I made a dolphin jumping out of the ocean.
OK, eagles were pretty cool on Monday, but I have to say… what have they done since then? Not much. Clearly the eagle plan was a bit shortsighted. So we have a new animal of the week: Sloths, sloths, sloths!
